Students

What does bullying look like?

You may have seen how bullying looks in movies or TV shows; someone demanding lunch money or teasing someone in front of a crowd pointing and laughing. While we'll use "Maya" as our example, real life in 2026 is often much more subtle. Modern bullying includes:

• Intentionally leaving someone out of group hangouts or chats. (Example: Maya's friends all meet up without inviting her, but keep their Snap Map locations on so she specifically sees all of the Bitmojis clustered together and realize she was excluded. They may even say things like "oh sorry, we forgot to invite you" or talk about the Target trip in front of Maya when they see her again)
• Passive-aggressive remarks that sound "innocent." (Example: A "friend" telling Maya, "why does your makeup look like that?" or "I would love to just eat what I want like you and not care about getting fat, you're so brave!")
• Making a joke at someone’s expense and then gaslighting them. (Example: Responding with "you're so sensitive" or "it was just a joke" when Maya expresses that she's hurt.)
• "Asking out" A student as a joke. (Example: A boy telling Maya "my friend over there likes you" or asking her out as a dare or a joke. This tactic of bullying is sometimes called an "Oreo" or getting "Zapped.")
• Fake kindness or "mock friendships." (Example: A student, who is not Maya's friend and has no intention of being so, coming up to Maya sitting quietly in class and telling people Maya is her "best friend" or showing exaggerated in-genuine "interest" in Maya. They may also say things like "why are you so quiet?" or "how come you never talk to anyone, do you not like us?".)
• Using AI to create deepfakes or doctored voice recordings.

  According to a survey done by RAND, AI has become a popular bullying tool in schools.

  (Example: Someone uses an app like Character.AI or ElevenLabs to create a doctored voice recording of Maya saying something humiliating or confessing to something she didn't do. They may also use an AI with video creation abilities such as Grok, Gemini, or Sora to make an AI generated video of Maya doing or saying something humiliating.)

While this is not a complete list of ways that subtle bullying can occur this is a list of many of the most common types of subtle bullying.

This type of subtle bullying is almost like an "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you" tactic. The bullies know to be subtle to avoid detection by teachers, and make it so if Maya where to speak out, she risks potentially looking "sensitive" or "crazy."

The Reality Check: Am I just being sensitive?

If you're asking this question, the answer is usually no. Subtle bullying is designed to make you feel like the problem is your reaction, not their behavior. Ask yourself:

• Does it happen repeatedly? One weird comment is a mistake; ten "innocent" comments is a pattern.
• Is there an audience? Do they only act "nice" or "funny" when other people are watching?
• How do you feel afterward? If you leave the interaction feeling drained, embarrassed, or confused instead of supported, it’s not a friendship.

What can I do?

If "just ignore it" always worked, there would be no bullying. While "greyrocking" and others things like walking away can help in certain scenarios, bullies may take this as a sign to escalate. When the bullying reaches beyond a point of handling it on your own, here is a comprehensive guide of resources for when ignoring it dosen't work.

A reminder

Bullying is mentally taxing, and if you or someone you know is being bullied it does not mean that something is wrong with you or that you "deserve it." No one derserves to be treated this way, and you are strong and worthy of kindness and respect. You should not have to suffer and "tolerate" bullying. With these resources, you are equipped to handle more subtle bullying and while parents and teachers can be an even bigger help, you now posess resources to help yourself and others.