Parents

Beyond "Just Ignore It"

What does bullying look like?

You may have seen how bullying looks in movies or TV shows; someone demanding lunch money or teasing someone in front of a crowd pointing and laughing. While we'll use "Maya" as our example, real life in 2026 is often much more subtle. Modern bullying includes:

Intentionally leaving someone out of group hangouts or chats. (Example: Maya's friends all meet up without inviting her, but keep their Snap Map locations on so she specifically sees all of the Bitmojis clustered together and realize she was excluded. They may even say things like "oh sorry, we forgot to invite you" or talk about the Target trip in front of Maya when they see her again)
Passive-aggressive remarks that sound "innocent." (Example: A "friend" telling Maya, "why does your makeup look like that?" or "I would love to just eat what I want like you and not care about getting fat, you're so brave!")
Making a joke at someone’s expense and then gaslighting them. (Example: Responding with "you're so sensitive" or "it was just a joke" when Maya expresses that she's hurt.)
"Asking out" A student as a joke. (Example: A boy telling Maya "my friend over there likes you" or asking her out as a dare or a joke. This tactic of bullying is sometimes called an "Oreo" or getting "Zapped.")
Fake kindness or "mock friendships." (Example: A student, who is not Maya's friend and has no intention of being so, coming up to Maya sitting quietly in class and telling people Maya is her "best friend" or showing exaggerated in-genuine "interest" in Maya. They may also say things like "why are you so quiet?" or "how come you never talk to anyone, do you not like us?".)
Using AI to create deepfakes or doctored voice recordings.
According to a survey done by RAND, AI has become a popular bullying tool in schools.
(Example: Someone uses an app like Character.AI or ElevenLabs to create a doctored voice recording of Maya saying something humiliating or confessing to something she didn't do. They may also use an AI with video creation abilities such as Grok, Gemini, or Sora to make an AI generated video of Maya doing or saying something humiliating.)

While this is not a complete list of ways that subtle bullying can occur this is a list of many of the most common types of subtle bullying.

This type of subtle bullying is almost like an "I'm not touching you, I'm not touching you" tactic. The bullies know to be subtle to avoid detection by teachers, and make it so if Maya where to speak out, she risks potentially looking "sensitive" or "crazy."

The Reality Check: Reporting

Many teachers and parents believe that it is easy for students to simply report the bullying or stand up for themselves, but this is often not the case.

According to STOMP Out Bullying, many students do not report bullying due to fear of retaliation, or a previous reporting that was not taken seriously/caused bullies to escalate. When a student comes to you to report bullying, it is important for you to take them seriously for this reason.

What can I do?

If "just ignore it" always worked, there would be no bullying. While "greyrocking" and others things like walking away can help in certain scenarios, bullies may take this as a sign to escalate. When the bullying reaches beyond a point of handling on one's own, here is a comprehensive guide of resources for when ignoring it dosen't work.

Support Resources

StopBullying.gov - Official Resources

Call 988 - Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Text HOME to 741741 - Crisis Text Line

1. Find Your State's Official Portal

Many state laws require schools to have a way for you to report bullying safely. Click the button below to find yours instantly: Note: This button only works if you have location services for Google turned on.

🔍 Search My State's Portal

In the evevent that the bullying in your school is not being handled by the principal, you may need to escalate to the superintendent or report to the school district. Click the button below to find who to call instantly: Note: This button only works if you have location services for Google turned on.

🔍 Find My School District Contacts

In the meantime, it also helps to have a "paper trail." For any texts, posts, or other "proof" of bullying, document these incidents on paper or an a notes app on your phone. You can also do this if you report this to a prinicpal or school counselor. Write down:

The Date and Time it happened

Who was involved

What words were said

Where it happened

Having a paper trail helps in the event that you need to "back up" what you're saying or prove anything happened. It also helps in the event that bullying that is not bieng handled needs to be escalated to a superintendent or other higher authority.

A reminder

Students don't choose to go through this, and no one should have to "tough out" being abused and bullied at school. As a teacher/parent, students trust you to step in when ignoring the bullying dosen't work. As a person in a position of authority, you taking the student seriously could save a child from future struggles and help them by allowing them to focus fully in school and do their job as a student. You can be the person they need to help them learn and grow. :)